Immortality
by Ceraselle
Summary: What would you do if your life would end in an instant, and you be thrown into a world where you  are a prisoner forever? You  would want to live if you knew that you will not ever achieve happiness?


**Chapter 1**

The world is a wretched place, where people behave like most ferocious beasts. Only the strongest survive, and those who are different, are misunderstood and isolated in their own world, a world that finishes you up mentally, but also your soul. For an ordinary man that does not mean anything. They live their life cycle without too much notice around it, being careful not to collect too much pain and suffering. Man is born, lives a few years in this jungle in continuous degradation, and then when the burden that has gathered becomes too large, the heart ceases to beat and he leaves this world peacefully, knowing that beyond death he would expect a reward for his actions. Sometimes they are so ignorant in this thinking! They think the world is just about them, and the unknown does not exist, they think they are the strongest and most intelligent in this world, or rather this is what they want to believe. It is much easier to deny the truth than to accept it and live with it. The truth hurts and upsets, and sometimes destroys lives in an unrecoverable way. Those who know the cruel truth would give anything not to have found it, that is why not many are looking for it.

I feel pity for them because I see them so ignorant, trapped in their own bubble of air, but also I envy them because they are happy in this ignorance. What use is to me now all I had if I could not be happy? Happiness had become a forbidden topic for me. I knew happiness once, but it has passed so long time since then, that I have forgotten what it really means. Living a long time in a world so sneaky you tend to forget many things such as what a smile, a touch, a kiss, love is. Little things that are essential to say you truly live.

For me all these were only some vague memories, like some dreams of which you remember very little when you wake up from a restful sleep.

I could not even enjoy this part. I could not sleep. My life was a continual torment to me, if you could call this a life, if indeed one could say that I was alive.

Even tough I was walking, talking, thinking; my heart did not beat and hadn't been beating for a long time. I think now it was just dust in my veins, the same like in my heart. An invisible powder that makes me feel empty inside and I hate myself for even existing, but I existed because of an irony of fate or as I said, I was among the few who have sought the truth and they discovered it, their life changing in an irreparable way. Irreparable harm that because I can not turn back time to live my life, because I can't no longer be that ignorant human being that I was once. Now I was cursed to see the world changing around me, to see how people I love die, and I to stay alive, unchanged forever. And I had seen many views like this in all these centuries of life. Specifically in 653 years. 653 years of solitude and anguish, but also repulsion. Repulsion because now I was a monster who craved for human blood, and was able to kill hundreds of people in one night.

One night, my life was forever darkness, always a night where I felt completely alone because although there are others like me, I was not like them. I renegade this lifestyle that they led, and they saw me as a freak in a world of freak. That was an irony of fate, or rather an irony of my own choices. My choice meant that I was to integrate in the human society I hated so much, without doing harm to anyone, without killing to satisfy my thirst, but with much sacrifice and willingness on my part. I did this sacrifice just because I didn't wanted to destroy the lives of innocent people, although death was a release for them, for me it was a punishment to curb their life. Therefore I chose this lifestyle, or what this was, in which my clenched my thirst only with animal blood or human blood that I get from the blood banks.

I was a vampire, a mystical creature, a creature of darkness that people meet in all sorts of legends and fear the powers they had, of course many of them were not true and were just as absurd as: power to transform me into a bat, or the ability to hypnotize victims or even to become invisible. It was not like that. My powers were only physical strength, speed, physical beauty and of course immortality. Immortality was not full, so t we could be killed by certain methods, which would seem ridiculous to whom would hear them. In fact there is only one method: a stick to the heart, or rather in what was once a heart that beat. Much too easy for someone to think of it, and even if someone would have thought of it could not use it because no one can mess with our strength. At least no human.

Frankly I wanted someone to realize what I truly was and break my suffering and I would not have fought back, but I look like all the other people. Maybe my skin was slightly pale and slightly lower body temperature, but other evidence did not exist. Predator had the perfect camouflage: it was identical to its prey. That is the trap of life. Luckily for them that I was different and prefer to protect them when I could, but never grow attached to them. I don't want to make the same mistake twice. They were ephemeral, and I was not, and can not stand to lose a beloved. I finished me up it and I was just dead literally and figuratively. Since then I didn't got closer and I did not let anybody to approach me. I was completely isolated in my own dungeon from which I believe I will never get out because there was no use to make someone else suffer, or even me. I was condemned to an eternity alone for what I represented.

I wish I could love again, but I can not. I am the only in my world that has this lifestyle and I can not love someone who is a murderer, and to love a man … I can not even think about it. It is a forbidden thing for people like me, like everything related to humanity. I am completely isolated in my dungeon.

My life has been hard since the moment I opened my eyes and saw the light of day in this jungle. It seems that my destiny was to suffer from the first moment of my life, but I resigned to the thought.

My name is Raven Baxter and I was born on May 13 in 1356 in a squalid neighborhood in a London hit by famine and disease. My family was a humble and numerous, since we were six children, I being the youngest. Being the only girl I learned to be tough to face my brothers, but it was useful to me later, so I have to be grateful for the lessons that they gave me.

Our parents were the best people in the world, or so I saw them. They did everything possible for us to be well and tried to protect us from all diseases that were, but unfortunately they failed to protect themselves from it, and I was left orphan at the age of 8 and I had to survive on my own. Alone, only a child in a world where the poor were just another speck of dust on the road in front of the nobles.

They looked at us like we were the plague of their society that had to be exterminated at any cost, simply because you, a man who had nothing in the world, not even a glass of water to drink, you dare to breathe the same air as them. This was the world in which I was to survive at any cost because I was not going to let them trample me. I had a soul and rights, even if the nobles did not believe that.

For many months I tried to find a sense, a way of living from day to day, but it was very difficult. Of course for my brothers I was just a burden, so I left home. I tried to find something to work at the inn, at the noble houses, but without result. No one needs a child to disturb him. They believed I was a pain in the ass. And they were right.

What could I do at the age of 8 than trying to do a little cleaning, because I knew nothing else. At that age I should still have been playing with my brothers, and not taking my life in my own hands. But life is never fair and will not be. So I, a poor child who did not know well what happened to her, I endured hunger, cold and numerous beatings. I was getting beaten when I was caught stealing an apple, or for no reason, just because I came in the way of people without soul.

I was sleeping on the street, between two kennels or in the bird's cage, but of course when I was discovered I got beat again. I think there was no small part not to be covered by bruises on my body. Some neither had time to heal, because others soon were emerging.

I, a naive little girl, I knew nothing about life and death, but all I wanted was to go with my parents wherever they were. I know that there, I will be better again because they'll take care of me. I wanted my mother to hold me back in her arms, to braid my brown hair or my dad to defend me again when my brothers upset me. For me those memories mean happiness, and often, as i fell asleep, I dreamed I was home again with them, just so to wake up and realize that nothing is true and to cry for hours because everything seemed so real. I felt alone, but that was true. Nobody cares about me. Nobody would have noticed if one day I would have stopped breathing. I do not exist for anyone.

Eventually, the powers left me and I was sick with fever. Lying near a fence without having to keep in mind of what was happening around me, having hallucinations. I thought I was home with my parents, that all I went through was just a bad dream, from which I finally woke up. I felt no cold, no hunger, and the wounds did not hurt me anymore. I was happy again.

Among the bright faces of my parents I saw another that I did not recognize. It was of an old man with snow white hair who watched me with his big, compassionate eyes. In the darkness of the night it seemed to be the only source of light, that everything pure and bright came from him, but of course this was only the fruit of my hallucinations.

"What is an angel like you doing here alone and sick?" Said the old man with a voice that seemed to me to come from a distance. I did not understand why he said I was alone. Can't he see I was with my parents? They were right beside him and smiling, waving their hand.

"-I'm not alone! My parents are right beside you! "I answered in a low voice . Not even to talk I no longer had power.  
- "Oh poor little thing! You're hallucinating! Come with me, I will take care of you!" Said the old man and raised me in his arms. I did not want to go! Here were my parents. I did not want to be divided from them again, but I could not react, so the only thing i could've ever done was to watch my parents disappearing in the fog . They went back and I was left alone to suffer.

My strength came to an end. I was so exhausted that i could no longer hold my eyes open, so I do not know where the old man brought me. All I felt was something warm and soft around me. It smelled so nice! It smelled clean. Suddenly I heard the old man's voice again.

"-Miles get the doctor immediately! Tell him it does not matter how late it is, I'll pay whatever he wants! We must save this angel! "

"-Sir! You can not be serious! Not knowing what disease she has. How could you risk to bringing her into the house? She might be a danger to all!" Said another male voice. What doctor, what house, about what danger they were talking about? I do not understand anything, and all voices were getting low.

"-I could not let this child die in front of my gate and pretend I did not see anything! Plus this is my house and I do whatever I want! Miles go after the doctor, there is no time! She seems very bad! "I heard again the old man's voice disappearing in the distance.

Who felt sick? Hope he will heal if he suffered from any disease. I wanted to say something, but I never got to because I fell into a deep sleep. And how good this sleep did to me… I felt peaceful, yet sad because I did not see my parents. This time they did not come to watch me as they usually did. Now those who were watching me as I was sleeping were the black eyes of the old man who gave me a feeling of safety.

The old man was like an angel sent from heaven to take care of me. Or so I think it is: my guardian angel that I expected to disappear once I wake up like my parents did. Nobody loved me. Nobody wanted me around them and do not understand why, because I have not done any harm to anyone. I just wanted to live, or this was a mortal sin?


End file.
